QOTD September 17th

Question of the Day

QOTD September 17th

Postby DeniseM » Sep 17th, '14, 9:03 am

This month's Word Up at OLW is FEAR. I have a long and horrible relationship with fear. When I am fearful I usually feel angry. Fear is just a feeling but it has overwhelmed me at times and contributed to me making bad decisions. My worst fear is fear. I hate it. Which probably means I need to make peace with it.

Has fear kept you from something you loved/wanted or has it contributed to bad decision making? What is your biggest fear? Does it get in the way of you enjoying life sometimes?
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Re: QOTD September 17th

Postby AmberCA » Sep 17th, '14, 1:33 pm

Good question.
Gosh when I think about it, I feel like I fear, or should I say worry, about a lot of things.
I don't live in fear, that would be crippling, but now that my daughter started driving I am afraid of her being 'out there' on the road. I usually have fear when it concerns my kids.

I also fear following my creative dreams and putting myself out there. I am afraid of rejection. I know that I need to overcome this, and it basically comes down to not caring what people think, but doing what feels right and makes me happy.
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Re: QOTD September 17th

Postby Funky Fairy » Sep 17th, '14, 2:06 pm

Seems deep Denise.

Something that I've realised these past couple of days after some crap we are going through right now is that being judged and being a good parent is a fear of mine.

I am a worrier that's for sure and I do over think things and worry often when I don't need to worry.
Hey!! I lost 2lbs yesterday though.
Something I can't do when I worry is eat.
I just feel sick.
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Re: QOTD September 17th

Postby nittygrittyjody » Sep 17th, '14, 2:08 pm

I wouldn't say I have fears in life, so much as I worry about certain things. I feel like I have already lived my worst fear- through the loss of a child- and even though I have survived it that doesn't mean I earned a 'get out of jail free' card when it comes to stuff happening. So I do find that I think through scenarios that would have never crossed my mind before. And I do worry at times, like when Chip and I took our day trip to Chicago. I think about what would happen to my kids or how they would deal with loss.
But I try to spin that and make boring moments special at times, just because. So fear can serve a better purpose too. It can also show you how much courage you have!
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Re: QOTD September 17th

Postby Funky Fairy » Sep 17th, '14, 2:19 pm

That's a thought that goes through my mind very often Jody.
I have no idea where my kids would go if anything happened.
It's something that really worries me.
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Re: QOTD September 17th

Postby AnnaB » Sep 17th, '14, 3:34 pm

I have a page that I'm working on in my art journal right now with the words "no fear" written all over the page... in this particular case the fear I was thinking about wasn't mine... but yes, I feel that fear is in my way. I do worry a lot. Especially when it comes to the kids. But also relating to myself. I'm scared of failure. I am very good at criticizing myself. Not in every context, but in certain situations.
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Re: QOTD September 17th

Postby DeniseM » Sep 17th, '14, 6:43 pm

It's a loaded topic isn't it? It makes me uncomfortable to talk about it even. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I feel fear about being judged, being a good parent, oh so many things.

Jody, that is one of my biggest fears losing one of my kids. Or the flip side is that they are still here but lost in a world of mental illness, or drug addiction. I know people that suffer that watching their beloved children. Horrible. Horrible. What you said about courage made me think of that quote, "Courage is fear that has said it's prayers." I can't control so many things but I pray every morning and give that up to the best of my ability to my Higher Power. It does work.
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Re: QOTD September 17th

Postby Funky Fairy » Sep 18th, '14, 4:51 am

Being a parent is the scariest thing ever I believe.
You feel scared when they are little and you watch over them all the time, but that fear develops in to a whole new level when they reach their teens and suddenly you loose control and it's all down to them and their actions and decisions.
I've said many a time that I miss those early days.
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Re: QOTD September 17th

Postby Sherry C » Sep 18th, '14, 5:16 am

I try not to feed into fear although it's sometimes easier said than done. If I have any fear, it's usually relating to the safety/well-being of my children.
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Re: QOTD September 17th

Postby Sharmaine » Sep 18th, '14, 7:28 am

Just saw this on facebook
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I try to be fearless with fear.
I don't think it should hold any place in your life and should not stop you from living, as it often does.
I agree with things worrying you, but that's because the things you worry after are usually real and meaningful and you're "in it".
Fear is usually over things unknown or unreal.
I think self talk is amazing. I think that positive self talk is even more amazing. I think praying goes hand in hand in that.
Learning why something makes you fearful is also a great way to take fear by the horns and give it a good shake. Finding if that fear has substance. Talking it over with someone. Knowing that fear isn't going to change the outcome for anyone but you.
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Re: QOTD September 17th

Postby DeniseM » Sep 18th, '14, 9:08 am

so true Sharmaine!!! There is an acronym for FEAR
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

In a 12 step program I am an active member of, I have done several inventories about my life. There is a specific fear inventory that we do and it's always been so eye opening and empowering. We list the fears in one column, what it affects in another, (self esteem, personal relationships, financial security, etc. ) Knowing them and facing them is so powerful!
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Re: QOTD September 17th

Postby TerryB » Sep 18th, '14, 9:20 am

Very powerful thread. I can echo what many of you already wrote. I have also experienced the fear of fear. It's awful. I went through a hard time with some of this stuff (anxiety and fear) this past summer. I think my Mom's illness (and my perimeno) precipitated it. I had three prayers I printed up and kept in my purse for when I needed them. They helped a lot. I'm much better now then I was, and I'm so thankful, but every now and then those fears and anxieties creep up.
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