QOTD 2/25 Your Mom

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QOTD 2/25 Your Mom

Postby DeniseM » Feb 25th, '13, 9:16 am

Do you have a good relationship with your Mom?

Mine is very complicated. I love my mom and she is a good person whom I owe many of my values and better qualities too. Raising kids is hard for sure and I am not perfect at it so I definitely cut her some slack now that I am older. That being said, we are not super close. My mom isn't a "mommy" type. Not the kind that steps in to help much. I have learned to be very independent since I was young. There is an upside to that though. She doesn't butt in. She doesn't tell me what to do or offer advice.

I wonder what my kids will think of me as they get older and have their own children. I have a very close relationship with my stepchildren and speak to them several times a week.
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Re: QOTD 2/25 Your Mom

Postby AshleyCalder » Feb 25th, '13, 9:22 am

I have a pretty great relationship with my mom. We aren't "friends" (my mom thinks that is totally wrong, and I'm OK with that), but we are close and see each other/talk/text often. We actually moved cities so we could live across the street from my parents. :D
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Re: QOTD 2/25 Your Mom

Postby nittygrittyjody » Feb 25th, '13, 9:53 am

My mom is my best friend in so many ways. Eve though we live a few states away from each other, she {and my dad too!} are the ones I call to share the good, bad and everything in between too. They "get me" and they still love me! ;)

We didn't always have this kind of relationship. I was a tough teen to get along with. But as years have gone on, and especialy when life took some ugly turns, they were and have been my biggest supporters and strength through it all. I feel very lucky to have them in my life and corner. They are good about giving advice, lending an ear and also being objective about stuff too.
My mom happens to be good at so many things- which I love and admire and envy at times too! ;)

I hope my kids grow up still wanting to be friends with me too. I think I will take that as a sign that I did a least a little something right!

Thanks for sharing and asking this, Denise. I always joke on Mother's Day that we moms deserve at least a full week of recognition. It's a tough job! But thankfully has its rewards too!
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Re: QOTD 2/25 Your Mom

Postby Funky Fairy » Feb 25th, '13, 11:07 am

Good one Denise.

My Mum is hardwork.
I feel like I'm the Mum.
We talk most days, she lives about an hour away just 10mins from my sister.

She's changed alot over the years and isn't the Mum she was when we were little unfortunately.
She's had a lot go on over the years, but does like the pity party.

A great example. I was at my sisters on Saturday and she called me twice and stressed something had happened and she couldn't come over to see me until my husband had come home. She had to speak to him first. She had to see what his reaction was after she had spoken to him and he may not want to leave the house after that. She didn't just say this once but kept saying it. I tried not to react and just played it down. In the end it was making me feel sick with worry and I ende up at the end of the second call asking if she was ok healthwise.

They turned up later. All dressed up to go out for a meal. Seemed fine. Turns out her husbands son has lost his job.
I know it's not nice but she made me worried and played it up soooo much.
She just craves attention.

Everything also always comes back to her.
If you have something she's had it worse and the conversation is then about her.
I've even had miscarriages and not told her as it would be me listening to her about how awful hers were.
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Re: QOTD 2/25 Your Mom

Postby LauraC » Feb 25th, '13, 11:12 am

never mind
Last edited by LauraC on Feb 25th, '13, 12:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: QOTD 2/25 Your Mom

Postby LauraC » Feb 25th, '13, 11:15 am

nevermind
Last edited by LauraC on Feb 25th, '13, 12:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: QOTD 2/25 Your Mom

Postby LauraC » Feb 25th, '13, 11:18 am

And Lisa - I totally understand because that is the way my Mother is. She is brutal with my brother with ALS and tells him about how she has beat cancer 3 or 4 times and she knows what a death sentence is.

My husband always said the good die young. His dad, mom and my dad. My mother's been dying since her early 30s and now in her later 70s, she still hangs in there. In an adult living care setting because no one will take her into their homes.
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Re: QOTD 2/25 Your Mom

Postby AmberCA » Feb 25th, '13, 12:53 pm

Wonderful question!

I adore my mom! She is amazing at so many things. We have a great relationship and she is always there for me and always encourages me. We do a lot of things together, we love to shop, and go to fabric stores and hunt for a bargain. My mom is very smart and logical and she is anti-dramatic. She is one of the most giving people I know and she has taught me everything I know. I hope that I can being even a fraction of what she is to my girls. :)
***Amber***
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Re: QOTD 2/25 Your Mom

Postby okmama » Feb 25th, '13, 3:37 pm

Good question, Denise. Complicated is a good word for my relationship with my mom as well. My mom was quite codependent with my brother. They had lots of secrets from me in the last years especially, or I was more aware of them then because I was more involved with her care. Not sure which. Probably the latter. I was seen as capable, so let to fend for myself in many ways, at least as an adult. :-\ :'(

I am thankful that she lived close to use the last few years of her life. And that she could know her grandsons better because of it.
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Re: QOTD 2/25 Your Mom

Postby Sherry C » Feb 25th, '13, 5:04 pm

Thankfully, I do have a great relationship with my Mom. She is an amazing woman and I truly admire/adore her. I'm sad that I only get to see her a few times per year, but we talk at least once a week. I hope and pray my DD and I have the same type of relationship. ♥

Laura - I couldn't help but laugh at the description of your mother's slow demise, bless her heart... and yours.
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Re: QOTD 2/25 Your Mom

Postby mlepitts » Feb 25th, '13, 5:45 pm

My mom and I have a really good relationship, we always have. I don't call her all the time, she doesn't call me all the time, but we do talk often. She's let me become my own family with my husband and kids, she's very supportive and is the best person to talk to when I have insights, she's always so excited to hear them :) She's my biggest cheerleader. I really love her.

She's been sick the last 10 years or so, she has post polio syndrome and it's really slowed her down. It's been heartbreaking to see this strong vibrant woman not be able to do all she once could.
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Re: QOTD 2/25 Your Mom

Postby Sharmaine » Feb 25th, '13, 6:49 pm

AmberCA wrote:Wonderful question!

I adore my mom! She is amazing at so many things. We have a great relationship and she is always there for me and always encourages me. We do a lot of things together, we love to shop, and go to fabric stores and hunt for a bargain. My mom is very smart and logical and she is anti-dramatic. She is one of the most giving people I know and she has taught me everything I know. I hope that I can being even a fraction of what she is to my girls. :)


Amber, that is what I want my girls to say about me.
My Mum isn't that...
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Re: QOTD 2/25 Your Mom

Postby LauraC » Feb 25th, '13, 6:55 pm

Sherry C wrote:Thankfully, I do have a great relationship with my Mom. She is an amazing woman and I truly admire/adore her. I'm sad that I only get to see her a few times per year, but we talk at least once a week. I hope and pray my DD and I have the same type of relationship. ♥

Laura - I couldn't help but laugh at the description of your mother's slow demise, bless her heart... and yours.


Sorry Sherry - I had a 2 post long explanation about my mother's mental illness and then I decided against it after posting. It's really personal and unless you lived it, you can't even imagine how awful it is.

Let's just say I hold her at arm's length and my kids really don't know her
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Re: QOTD 2/25 Your Mom

Postby Umenorskan » Feb 25th, '13, 7:00 pm

I would say complicated, have never felt like I xould share enough with her. She is the type that gives me money and thinks that shows love. Still have to tell myself to give her a hug and be polite n say thank you, not because I feel the need, but because I hear her words in my ears telling me to.

She is often like a child and diesn't handle any type of critique from me. When we lived 1000 km away and they were visiting and I didn't do as she wanted to she would start to sob and threaten to leave. The controversies have often been really silly, nd here are examples. a week after I gave birth to our oldest son both my parents and inlaws came to visit. i was tired , but my parents wanted to buy us stuff we could have at home so they draged me to the supermarked, ans kept asking, s this ok, s this ok on everything, and yelled back in frustration that they should just decide. Then I was ungratwful n mean.... Another time they came to visit I was photographing my son, and then she wanted to hotograph too with her camera after I was finished and started to prepare the lunch outsude for the 1 year old, and told her she could do that herself, with her camera, I didn't want to use hers... Then she started sobbing because I told her off in frpnt of others, but hey I was busy, how important could pictures with her lousy camera be, so she walked home to our house... I have to tip toe around her and I hate it. I don't like talking to her on the phone, it takes forever, and leaves me with no scrap time... Even if I say I am busy holding a paint brush in hand and an open paint bucket she will not hang on....

This it's the life of an only child... Ok I might not be the easiest daughter, but I just lost all patience when it comes to her, I can't ever remember her giving me a good feeling. she is always looking for me to comment on how nice she is to give us things.... I would rarher have a mother who asked me how I felt and would give me a hug.
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Re: QOTD 2/25 Your Mom

Postby DeniseM » Feb 25th, '13, 8:30 pm

wow. I knew this could be an interesting question and I was correct.

First to all of you ladies that have such heartache with your mums, I am sorry. We are all grown up women, and mums our selves but it is hard when you think you don't just have a mother that will give you a hug, and be the grown up in the relationship.
I hear you. As I said, I cut my mom slack as I know how hard it is to raise children now but I definitely have tried to be drama free and not make everything about me with my kids and step kids. It has payed off! I am sending you big momma hugs, all of you!

To those of you who have good or great relationships with their moms, I am so happy for you! I think that is so important and awesome. It is nice to hear stories and admiration when it comes to a mother daughter relationship.
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Re: QOTD 2/25 Your Mom

Postby dianaj1012 » Feb 25th, '13, 9:21 pm

All I can say is that I am grateful this wasn't about MOTHER'S IN LAW instead of our moms. I could give you an earful on the other side.

My mom is a lot like me — I see that more as I get older. Even the stuff that used to drive me nuts and puzzle me about her personality I can see it now in myself and I have a kinder spot in my heart for it. She lives in Detroit and I live in NY, so it is tough to see each other more than just once a year, but we try to connect via text, email, FB, pictures...when we can. She reads my blog and emails me back about it, so I know she knows what I'm up to.

She is going through a rough patch right now after beating cancer 2 months ago, having to retire from her job to deal with that — but she is fighter and a creative person. She's been talking about crafting and all she's going to do once she starts to feel better. She inspires me!
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Re: QOTD 2/25 Your Mom

Postby Margrethe » Feb 26th, '13, 1:41 am

Much better than when I was a teenager!

It really helped moving out (shocker!). Now we have a good relationship. As others have said about their moms, my mom is my biggest cheerleader. She didn't get any education herself and worked as a secretary for many years. She worked herself up, but also lost her job due to the economic crackdown in the early 90's. That was tough on our family. But she is a person who never gives up, and I'm so happy she is able to retire and still make it financially this year at 66. Her problems in her working life and her wish of an education has made her nag me into getting an education, and I wouldn't want it any other way. I didn't get an education because she told me to, but I see now that she has influenced me greatly.
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